New Neighbors

 “Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family.
Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.”
–Jane Howard

When I returned to my host family after being in Lome for a couple of days, I discovered that a new family had moved into one of the rooms in the compound. There are seven rooms in the compound. When I first arrived, my host mother told me that she grew up here. Her father had four wives, and with them fathered 24 children. At first I thought I had heard her wrong, but no, no, she assured me that there were 24 and they all lived in this compound. Throughout my time here some of these siblings and half-siblings have stopped by to introduce themselves and say hello. It was sometimes hard to tell if these visitors were, in fact, her half-siblings or if she was simply introducing them as brothers and sisters, using terms of endearment. The concept of family is different here, and it’s been a little confusing to distinguish between exactly who are relatives and who are close friends.

The new family of four moved into the room two doors down from me. One obvious thing that is apparent here, and will probably make going back to the U.S. a little jarring, is the reality that people really don’t need much. In Togo a family of four is perfectly capable of living in one bedroom. It is hard for me to imagine myself growing up in one room with all my siblings and parents.

I quickly became fond of the two new little kids, Majua, 5 and Espoir, 2. Little Espoir is absolutely adorable. Espoir means “hope” in French. One morning I gave the two of them some extra oatmeal; my host mom always cooks too much and at every meal I end up giving food to the children. I’ve never fed a baby before, but I’ve seen people do that thing where they pretend the spoon is an airplane or a bee flying towards the baby’s mouth. I tried it out and everyone loved it. Little Espoir, who is hard to make laugh or smile, giggled every time!

This probably sounds trivial, but as someone who doesn’t have a lot of experience around babies, this was the highlight of my week! I’m going to miss these new neighbors when I leave, and I will always remember how perfectly happy and content they were in their tiny home. True joy in life isn't found in material things, but from the people who surround you.