Harassment

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice
at the end of the day that says “I’ll try again tomorrow.”
~Mary Anne Radmacher

Okay, so being a “Yovo” (white) in Togo automatically makes me stand out. It’s almost the equivalent to seeing a woman walking down the street in the U.S. wearing a burka or maybe a clown costume. Not only do people here stare and do a double take when they see me, they shout out things or occasionally approach me to try and stop me while I am walking down the road. I try not to be too bothered by this, and just ignore them and keep moving. I’ve only once had to defend myself by smacking a man with my water bottle because he came at me and grabbed me hard by my arms. Usually people just shout things at me.

Here are some typical comments: 

•  "Whitey! Whitey!"
• "Hello my sister"
• "You are pretty to have"
• "You must give me something/100cfa"
•  "Hello my angel, how are you?"
• "I am hungry, you must give me money"
• "Where are you going?"
• "tsssss tsssss......tsssssss....tssssssss.......HEY, HEY!"
• "Yovo, come see"
• kissing, squeaky sound

I don't mean to complain or whine here. I just want to explain what it's like to be white living in a big Togolese city. I don't have trouble ignoring things the little kids say, since they are so innocent, just doing what they see the other kids doing. It's the adults who bug me the most, because it seems like they should be old enough to know better, mature enough to show some restraint, or manners, or at least empathy.  I mean, I would NEVER call out "Hey Asian/red-head/black/fatty, etc." across the street to get someone's attention. I guess different cultures have different ideas about what is and is not rude.

These episodes make me feel everything from annoyed, to scared, to ANGRY. I try to remind myself to find the courage and patience to see beyond it, and feel compassion for the people harassing me. Yes, I am white and American. I grew up having more than they will probably ever have. I am only here in Togo for two years, and then I will return to the pristine, shiny United States, and they will still be here in Togo. I can understand possible feelings of resentment towards me, but I can't accept it as a valid excuse for this poor behavior.

On my bad days I just want to scream back at these people, and I admit I have lost my temper a few times. On my good days I try to remember that before forming an opinion about someone or passing judgment on them, we should think about what it would be like to live in their shoes, or in this case, flip flops.